The rest of the ASSASSINS make their move and start slaughtering the guards!Yes, that was the best way to make use of the element of surprise. Better to create a new character who has actual personality and isn’t just a drab generic cypher, right?Oh. Ariane Labed (born 8 May 1984) is a Greek-born French actress and film director. Or at least for the cases where we keep the fully-operable Assassin weaponry? By comparing your genes to Miguel Fassbender’s, we’ve been able to determine that you’re his direct descendant-Where the hell did you get a DNA sample for some fifteenth-century Spanish murderer?-so now we just have to plug you into a futuristic machine called The Animus so we can replay your genetic memories-“Genetic memories”? You’re betraying The Creed.If you don’t stop helping them we may have to use force against you. It's the only subtle thing that happens in this entire movie! I'm off to enslave humanity as a kind of belated adolescent tantrum.Wait, are we just leaving that knife in the room full of crazy people? And somehow manages to stay just a few feet behind.Wait- Hovik Keuchkerian? We were gonna kill you, Michael, but then we saw all those holograms hanging out with you so now you’re our leader for some reason!Quickly, guards, subdue the Assassins!
I'm an Asian woman, I provide TWO diversity points!Okay whatever, MICHAEL K. WILLIAMS and MICHELLE H. LIN are fine but CALLUM TURNER gets stabbed to death!! The Editing Room has been around since 1998 and features over 900 Abridged Scripts for movies. I’ve changed my mind about helping the Templars, because the Animus has suddenly flipped out and created a hologram of my mom, as well as a bunch of other ancestors including Assassin Marion I think?Meanwhile us other Assassins have grabbed some of those weapons that were basically just lying all over the place and started a rebellion! Do we ever become interesting or even particularly human, or do we just keep muttering this ponderous cult nonsense at each other?
If he was here, I'd stab him right in his stupid face!JEREMY takes MICHAEL into the room where all the people who have been driven mad by desynchronization are kept. Abridged Scripts are short(-ish) screenplays for films that just cover the highlights - think of them as Cliff's Notes for your favorite movies, except Cliff is an asshole and thinks your favorite movie sucks. 1. It's not like you've even got some guards with you, which would make sense since you're working with the Templars now.You think that's bad? At this point I'm starting to suspect I might be a mole for the Assassins.Now it's time for an awesome escape from the belly of the beast!MICHAEL walks out of the building along with all of the TEMPLARS, who behave as if this was a Monday-afternoon fire drill.Wait, that was it? Now, Mister-No, and I’m sure that’ll be SO disappointing for the legions of Desmond Miles fans out there.Point taken. I'll just insult you, hand you a knife, and then leave. They're forced to jump off a ledge about THREE HUNDRED FEET HIGH!Yes, this is our big hero shot!
Is this heaven? ARIANE LABED. You can’t just cut away from them committing suicide and say “And then they were fine”!Can too! So I’ve decided to blow up Gotham City-Um, sorry, I slipped into the wrong “crazy cultist” role for a second there. And now instead of just stabbing you all where you stand, let’s arrest you and take you to be formally executed, because if there’s anything that fits right into our scheme of kidnapping and extortion it’s due process.Wait, already? Because of The Creed.Basically we’re giving the audience absolutely no reason to give half a fuck whether we succeed or fail or live or die. Why are we spending so much time on the framing device?Well we seem to have gotten it into our heads that the boring present-day scenes that the games barely bother with are what we should be putting all of our focus on. Your dad, the guy who murdered your mom, wanted us to not find the apple. DENIS, who is apparently the only security guard on the scene, does nothing to stop him.Seriously? Did we accidentally stumble into the Escape Plan abridged script?MICHAEL goes and meets the other ASSASSINS just when everyone's sitting down for lunch.Hello Michael. That's how we roll, you see, unlike you, Michael, we all believe in The Creed.We don’t like that you’re helping them find the apple. Check out some of the IMDb editors' favorites movies and shows to round out your Watchlist. I'm the worst.MICHAEL charges back into the ANIMUS ROOM and RE-PASTIFIES HIMSELF. I don’t even want to think about how stupid this must look to the other characters.Woah, woah, break it up you two, back into the Animus I think.MIGUEL, ARIANE and the other ASSASSINS are being led to their EXECUTION.Well this is like our one bit where we do any kind of character stuff. But HOVIK gets ARIANE at KNIFEPOINT, BOO.Hey Javier, while I've got you here, you're Torquemada, and also the local Grand Master Templar, right?Well, since you survive this scene, wouldn't there be a concrete record of exactly when and where I stole the Apple from you?
But restrict yourselves to only wielding the kind of archaic weaponry that they're far more skilled at fighting with than we are! This script was made possible thanks to the support of Patrons like
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